first class, second rate

Let me just say that my experience in first class a few weeks ago was TOTALLY tainted by some boob who got on the plane before me. I had seat 1A, yes "ONE-A" (it doesn't get any more first class than that) so I get on the plane and there he was. The boob. Sitting in my precious 1A. I asked him what seat assignment he had (and to my credit I was incredibly polite considering the injustice of it all) and he smugly looked up from his paper and spat "1A". Hmph!

So I tattled, ehhh, told, the flight attendant that we had a double-booked seat, so she checked the manifest. And lo and behold, whose name sat at the top of the list? MINE. She tells me "That's definitely your seat." Then she told him he had to give up the seat to me, so we slid by one another, and you know how effortlessly you can move around the cabin while the plane is boarding. Once I got settled, he was stuck standing in the row behind me. So he calls someone on his cell phone and right next to my ear starts loudly telling this sob story about not knowing if he'll make it home tonight because the airline sold his seat to "someone else". Someone else indeed.

Since we were in the front seat, all the other first classers saw the whole thing unfold. They also saw him get relegated to a middle seat in row 16. From that point on, I just couldn't enjoy it. I didn't feel like I was truly in the first class "club" since I had to kick someone out to get there. I could feel the disapproving stares from the people nearby boring holes through me. I didn't even feel worthy of the free sodas that were being served in coach, much less a bloody mary. (Actually scratch that - I don't drink bloody marys on the plane ever since the flight attendant dropped one on me and I had to go around for the rest of the day looking I'd been nearly stabbed to death.)

Obviously, I hope this never happens again, but I assure you if there is a next time, I shall order TEN beers and whoop it up til the wings fall off.