This blog is like Seinfeld. It's not really "about" anything.

Monday, July 24, 2006

condo tour continued

Speaking of the shower, let's talk more about that. The one here seems to have 2 distinct settings: "Gale Force Blast" and "Exorcism". I usually settle for "Blast", which is unfortunate since I left Florida specifically to avoid the hurricanes. Generally the routine is: turn on the water, be beaten nearly to death, fight the force of the water to turn it off, mop up the blood, repeat the next day.

The good news is, there are plenty of mirrors that aid in the dressing of the wounds.

mirrors, mirrors, on the wall

One thing you immediately notice when you enter this condo is...yourself. Yes, that's right, "mirrors", folks. And lots of them. It's as if the contractor ran out of drywall and decided to use mirrors instead. Either that, or this place used to be a Gold's Gym.

The mirrors in the entryway, the living room, the bedrooms, the bathrooms, and the laundry area and are only mildly peculiar. It's the "other" mirrors that are downright disturbing.

This is me, standing in the shower. (Yes - IN the shower.) Look!! There I'm in the corner! And there I am again on the opposite wall! And look, the medicine chest! Why, I do believe I can get a full 360 degree view of my reflective personage. Which is funny, when you're clothed with a digital camera. Catch my drift? Oh merciful shower curtain...

Thursday, July 20, 2006

neat animal story

I had to share this inspirational story:

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large thorn deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For several tense moments Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later he was walking through a zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe and lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him. Probably wasn't the same elephant.


The Soap Opera Network (aka SoapNet) plays back-to-back episodes of Beverly Hills 90210 from 3-5 pm each day. Right in the middle of the workday. Which basically means I'm doomed. I mean, I can't NOT watch. That's simply not an option. Best part is, I can identify with the characters even better now, since they were in their 30's back then anyway!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

nothing "micro" about this wave!

The tour of the new condo continues. The first time I tried to open the microwave, I nearly ripped the door off and dislocated my shoulder. This wood-grain monster has a push button door mechanism that I failed to notice.

There's something disconcerting about a microwave this old. You can almost feel yourself growing extra limbs if you stand too close it. But I do think the written instructions on the keypad are rather charming, and very thorough! "Franks, In Buns"..."TV Dinner, 12 oz". Why, I'm surpised they didn't try to cram the recipe for green bean mushroom soup casserole on there.

So nostalgic. I miss the 80's...but I don't miss the appliances!

Monday, July 03, 2006

speaking of roofs...

Exactly 1 month ago, my house looked like this:

Now it looks like this:

It was supposed to take 4 months to build, but at this rate it's only going to take 2.5. Which would be perfect if I didn't have a 4 month lease on the buffalo condo. Holy rent and mortgage, Batman!!

In other news, I don't have to work tomorrow, there's a "Roseanne" marathon on TV, and the fridge is fully stocked. I am in heaven.